When we have greater complicity with a friendship than with the couple: Sometimes, and for certain issues, we can have greater complicity with our friends than with our partners. What does this imply? Is it negative to share certain thoughts only with our friends and not with our partners?
Sometimes, we develop greater complicity with a friendship than with a partner. Almost without knowing how we may find ourselves sharing thoughts or dreams that our partner is unaware of. This is something that can contradict us, and even worry us. However, it is a frequent phenomenon.
At first glance, this does not have to be bad or evidence of a decline in the relationship itself. Not as long as intimacy, love, and trust continue to exist in the affective bond itself. Because, in the end, people tend to diversify what they give and expect to receive from others. Also, there is something that we cannot ignore.
When a friendship relationship is significant, layers of connection, honesty, and complicity are reached so deep that they can surpass those of our life partners. We insist, that this does not have to create antagonisms between one bond and another. In reality, we enjoy a richness in relational matters that is undoubtedly a great benefit at all levels.
We analyze it.
Having complicity and trust with our friends does not have to pose a threat to the couple.
In couple relationships there is more than just complicity: there is also sexual and emotional intimacy.
Friendships and loves: intense ties, different ties
Many times, when we fall in love with someone, we already have a group of friends. It is evident that this bond of trust and closeness is not going to be broken just by starting a relationship. We combine it, it is still present and what is more important, it continues to rise as our daily support. We love sharing what’s going on with us every day, we love sharing good morning images, Love you images.
On the other hand, the most common thing is not to have greater complicity with a friendship than with the couple, but in reality, we develop another type of complicity. In other words, what we seek and expect from a friend is not the same as what we expect and offer to a loved one. And that is where the key is, in knowing in which emotional territories we move.
There will be certain aspects with which we feel more comfortable sharing with a friend. And this does not have to be punishable. It is part of the quality of those social bonds that we create with people. With some, we will establish a type of dynamic that is different from others, and it is in this variety that we weave those psychological supports that are so nutritious and essential.
In human relationships, each figure provides us with a type of reinforcement and complicity. Friends, partner,s and family make up those psychological supports from which we benefit on a daily basis.
Different complicities, but equally relevant
It’s true. Sometimes, we develop greater complicity with a friendship than with a partner. However, we insist, it is most likely that this complicity generated with our best friend gave a lot of qualities to the one we have with our loved one.
We analyze it.
Complicity in the couple
It is true that it is always enriching to see our partner as our best friend. However, it is not the same. There will always be nuances, particularities, and emotional tonalities that cause clear distances.
- The complicity with our partner is combined with the always necessary field of intimacy. Research from the University of Stellenbosch, South Africa, for example, reveals something important. Intimacy is at the core of any satisfying emotional relationship. It includes physical and sexual closeness to the connection in values, common goals, and emotions.
- The complicity built with the couple starts from a commitment of two people who are interdependent. That is, there is a base of attachment that makes one dependent on the other.
Complicity in our friendships
While in an affective relationship the cornerstone is the commitment of one to the other, in friendship this element loses strength. We value trust, honesty, sincerity, understanding, etc. in a friend. Likewise, there is no type of interdependence, each one is free to have their own life without having to give explanations to their respective friends. We are best friends forever.
The complicity that is created with a friendship is freer and more spontaneous. And this is perhaps what we appreciate the most. It is a relational fabric with fewer commitments and, therefore, there is another type of dynamic. There is less emotional pressure and you travel through a freer territory for other types of confidence.
The couple’s relationship can experience a gap when we suddenly stop sharing our thoughts and needs with each other. This is always an indicator of a crisis that we must resolve.
Our partner must understand that it is normal to have friends with whom we also share our thoughts.
When we have greater complicity with a friendship than with the couple and problems arise
At what point can the aspect of complicity with a friendship become a problem? Basically, in two very specific situations. It may be the case that our partner feels annoyed by that relationship we have with our friends. There are those who perceive themselves as displaced and even become angry when they think that we share more intimate aspects with these figures.
It is important to clarify one aspect. The loved one will never be that person with whom we want to share absolutely everything. There will always be areas and experiences that we reserve for ourselves. Also for friends and our family. And this does not have to be an attack on that relationship. On the contrary, it can enrich it because it completes us as human beings.
Likewise, there is another no less relevant fact. We can have excellent daily accomplices in our friends, but it is advisable not to lose intimacy with your partner. That more private sphere belonging only to the two of us cannot be fractured. Nor be replaced by other figures. Because if we lose this, we lose everything.
For this reason, we must be good artisans of this dimension, of this fabric that is so magical and nutritious in every way. It is good to have confidants in the field of friendship, but if the precious stone of intimacy is not present in love, we will feel quite alone.
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