In most relationships, there will come a point when you decide to move in together. This is a hugely exciting step to take, but it’s one that might make you feel rather nervous as well, and that’s to be expected; after all, it’s a big jump from being in a relationship with someone and then living with them. Even if you’re sure it’s the right thing to do, you need to think carefully about the pros and cons, and you need to address any fears you might have. With that in mind, here are some useful tips for doing just that and making moving in together easier.
Share Your Fears
In a healthy, committed relationship, you should be able to talk about anything and everything, even those things that you might normally keep secret from other people. So, it makes sense that, if you have any fears or concerns about moving in with your partner, you talk to them about it. It’s highly likely they will have fears too, and you’ll be able to help one another get past those fears, whatever they might be.
Perhaps you have concerns about being able to have time to yourself, or maybe you’re not sure about splitting the bills. What about household chores? What about if the relationship doesn’t work out (you won’t want to think about this, but it is a concern and it’s wise to have a plan regarding it, just in case)? Talk through whatever it is that’s causing an issue – this will help alleviate your fears and help you feel more at ease with the new situation.
Talk About Lifestyle Choices
As we’ve said, talking with your partner is crucial, and that talking shouldn’t stop with the minutiae of who takes out the trash and who goes grocery shopping. You’ll also need to talk about your lifestyle and how that will or won’t change when you’re living together. For example, what about your hobbies? If you currently go out most nights to play sports or do some art, or anything else, will that change when you’re living together? What about your partner; what are their hobbies, and will they change their lives because you’re there? What happens will depend on the people involved, and it will be your choice, but it’s worth discussing it beforehand so everyone knows where they stand.
Or perhaps it’s not hobbies, but rather things that people do in their homes. Maybe you like to walk around naked – will that be a problem? Perhaps they like using toys from wetforher.com. Could you join in? Living together shows you a new side of someone, and it’s ideal if there are very few surprises.
Set Healthy Boundaries
We talked about hobbies above, and using that as an example, it’s time to talk about setting healthy boundaries. The fact is, everyone needs to be alone sometimes, and everyone needs to follow their own passions. If those passions – your hobbies – are not the same as your partner’s, that doesn’t mean you have to let them go. In fact, it’s great if you can do things separately as well as together.
It’s also important to maintain relationships with friends and family. Just because you have moved in with a partner doesn’t mean those older relationships are no longer something to enjoy and nurture.
In other words, even though you’re living with a partner, you need to have your own space and do your own thing, and setting boundaries early on means that can happen.